Ridgefield's Talk of Our Town

Brandon Von Koschembahr’s Final Pay it Forward

Here, in the final weeks of the holiday season, when the tunes are of silver bells and happy tidings, there are families in our midst whose days aren’t so merry and bright; to whom such familiar melodies bring quiet introspection, and memories—

Now is the time to connect with family and friends, those close and those far away, perhaps even estranged. Take the time to stop and chat with a neighbor.  Life is too short.

This is the message from a father in our town.  Christopher von Koschembahr lost his 19 year old son, Brandon, on November 27 in a tragic automobile accident on our own roads.  Brandon was a smiling face among us from childhood through graduation.  Many would recognize him as a volunteer firefighter or a Barista at Starbucks.  Brandon meant much to many, and his family has been vigilant in their efforts to keep his smile alive, especially here in this holiday season.

Tributes to Brandon have been published in The Ridgefield Press, and his friends have passed around vignettes, person-to-person, about the last time they laughed with Brandon, worked with Brandon; what they chatted about and how they passed their days.  Most powerful perhaps, is an unfamiliar vehicle for keeping a loved one with us.  The Von Koschembahr family has established a dedicated fan page for Brandon’s memory on Facebook called, touchingly, In Memory of Brandon von Koschembahr. The page is visited day and night, and as of this writing, has as many as 2,363 members.

Here, should you need one, is another example of the power of Facebook and other social networking tools.  Christopher explains, “My role has always been using new technologies to provide business impact and now it’s for true human impact.” The Facebook page has been social networking for online grieving and sharing and collaborating.  “It’s allowed these kids who had to go back to college to take finals to connect; the many to many,” says Christopher. The power of the Social Media’s ability to reach the many to many has allowed family and friends dispersed around the country can share condolences and stories.  ”They have found resolution in knowing our family is okay and this gives them some peace; in the past how was this done across such a broad spectrum of people?” asks Christopher.

Brandon’s family, friends, acquaintances, and in Facebook vernacular, friends of friends, have found a bit of relief, here at the intersection of grief and social networking.  Each entry on the “In Memory of” page tells a story of a young man who loved life and loved others.  He was philanthropic and kind, with a contagious zest for life.  Brandon’s dad posts a memory of when a neighbor reprimanded Brandon for riding a dirt bike around his Ridgefield neighborhood.  When Brandon took the time to explain how the bike worked, the neighbor actually got on and took it for a ride.  Christopher chuckles, “He actually said that Brandon made him rediscover his youth.”

Brandon established himself as a Universal Organ Donor when he got his driver’s license, and his parents take comfort in the fact that even now, he is changing lives.  Brandon’s lungs, liver, pancreas and kidneys were donated to New England Organ Bank.  “During Thanksgiving weekend, we found tremendous strength in knowing that six or more people have benefited from Brandon’s organs.  It’s Brandon’s final gift of life; like Brandon’s final Pay it Forward “.

A memorial service will take place this Sunday, December 20 at 2pm at Jesse Lee Methodist Church.  To celebrate Brandon’s tremendous “Pay It Forward”, his friends and those offering their condolences will wear bracelets engraved with Brandon’s name and the words, “Donate Life”.

On the “In Memory of Brandon von Koschembahr” page, one friend posted the toast to life attributed to Mark Twain:

Dance like nobody’s watching.   Love like you’ve never been hurt,
Sing like nobody’s listening and Live like it’s heaven on Earth.

Christopher von Koschembahr’s hope is that Brandon’s memorial will bring families and friends close together, and that each will walk away a slightly different person.   ”Go home for the holidays and have more meaningful conversations with your loved ones” he says.  “Celebrate Christmas in a little different, deeper way this year.”

Gifts may be made in Brandon’s memory to the Ridgefield Volunteer Fire Department Memorial Fund, 6 Catoonah Street, Ridgefield CT 06877

Consider becoming an organ donor.  Visit: www.neob.org to read heartwarming stories of how people around the country are giving others a final gift of life.  In Brandon’s memory, Pay it Forward and sign up.